Special abilities: Advertising: For the next 10 turns, you take an extra 1 damage per 2 damage received but healing is increased by a multiple of 2.
Widen+Kennedy's Portland Office: Whisper this to one target player. They must find out what this office does within 12 seconds after sitting down at the computer or give you 6 of their Hp.
Passive Abilities: Just a correction: Whenever any player say's something wrong, you must attempt to correct them. If you sucessfully correct them, you gain one Win The Game Quarter which grants +1 to all stats per quarter. Collect 10 quarters to win the game instantly in 1st place. Unfortunately if you do win, your teammates must continue playing one man short. If you fail to correct them, you gain one Lose The Game Quarter. Collect two of these and you forfeit instantly.
The Jesus Squid: All healing on all teammates except for you is increased by 1 for every 4 life restored.