Special abilities: The Jijijiggle: you must stand up, and wiggle for 3 seconds. All teammates gain +2 to all stats for the next 2 turns.
Been doing this all day, must leave for the night and watch trailer park boys soon: Once every 3 games, you can stop the game in its tracks and make everyone watch a single episode of trailer park boys simultaneously while only turning around to play when it's their turn. ihavebigjiji does not have to watch it though. If everyone still resumes playing after watching, ihavebigjiji gains +4 to all stats for the rest of the game.
Passive Abilities: Hilarious: Whenever anyone references ihavebigjiji they must also say he is hilarious. They can refuse to say you're hilarious, but this costs them 1 Hp. For every 3 times ihavebigjiji is told he/she is hilarious, you gain +2 Hp.