Class - Reddit Novelty Prophet
You don't win at reddit: Dramatic_Pessimist posts something on reddit.com. For every upvote received in 5 minutes, this attack deals damage equal to that number after the minutes are up to the player of your choice. This cannot deal more than 8 damage in this way and cannot be used twice on the same player within 10 turns. If you receive no upvotes, this attack deals 3 damage to Dramatic_Pessimist.
Reddit wins you: Make a prediction on You don't win at reddit whether or not you will deal 5 or 10 damage. If you guess correctly after using this ability, this restores 4 Hp and deals 3 damage to up to 2 different targets.
They were free: (Range4): Pick up to two target enemy players within range of this ability. Then choose one affect between the following for both players: 1) That player cannot move in-game on their next turn or 2) Players cannot attack physically on their next turn. That player may not be subjected to this ability more than once in 5 turns.
Happy just as drug addicts are: Dramatic_Pessimist has the ability to conjure his drug addict spirits into battle, which he does throughout the match since he invented them to be easy to call upon. This strikes fear into the enemies hearts. Lowering all enemies max Hp by 2 as well as Vit.
Love thy neighbor... nay, love thy novelty: Dramatic_Pessimist is aware of his novelty magic powers, and uses them regardless of what people think. This grants him +2 Int and allows him to use an extra ability every other turn.
"This guy, Dramatic_Pessimist. What do you want with him? You can't change him you know, he'll keep preachin' that Shakespeare stuff till he can't speak no more." - Larry Wiggles, town Wiggle Teacher giving information to a man shrouded by his cloak. One thing we have confirmed Larry said to him was that he should take that cloak off and come to his house. Yes that's right, Larry was gay. He was somethin' alright. Okay enough about Larry. That cloaked guy, remember him? He was another reddit user sent to assassinate Dramatic_Pessimist. But hell he didn't succeed or stop nothin, dudes still out there preachin' the same ol', every day. Some of us are aware he has magic powers, but we don't ask no questions about that.